


Five Times Bill Didn’t Eat Takeaway From The Doctor’s Pouch (And One Time She Did)

by FernDavant



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alien Biology, Crack, IT'S PLATONIC, Other, Pouch!AU, QPP snack friends trio, don't make it weird, non-sexually eating food out of your pal's stomach pouch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 21:18:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9091186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FernDavant/pseuds/FernDavant
Summary: Just buddies, all non-sexually eating food out of their pal's stomach pouch.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [levendis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/levendis/gifts).



> Okay, so first you have to know that levendis/whifferdills and I have a Pouch!AU. It's just the same, but the Doctor's got a pouch on his stomach. Kinda like a marsupial thing, but just for storage. (http://whifferdills.tumblr.com/post/146696311970/you-should-draw-the-thing-i-know-you-can-draw-the for more context). This fic exists within that AU. Let's make that AU happen, guys. Let's make it happen.
> 
> And anyway, then there was this discussion (http://whifferdills.tumblr.com/post/155015055845/headcanon-twelve-the-hungry-boy-started-to-fall-a) and suddenly, there was this.
> 
> I don't want to be 'that person,' the one who writes the weird food crack, but here we are. These are my fandom legacies, Quill fic and 12th Doctor Weird Body-Related Food Crack. When you stare into a McNuggets AU, the McNuggets Stare Also.

**1.**

He was an alien. He was an alien, and so it was probably, likely perfectly fine that sometimes after adventures, he’d take all 57 layers of his upper body coverings off, and then him and his weird also-an-alien-but-a-different-kind butler buddy would start eating food out of the pouch in his stomach that he had.

Like you do.

Just chilling. Sitting around on the stairs. Nardole and the Doctor eating chips out of the latter’s belly pouch.

“I’m sick of chips,” was Bill’s first, immediate response. “Where did you even get chips _from_?”

“You,” the Doctor replied.

“Oh,” Bill said, because what else could you say when you found out one of your professors was storing chips you served him at lunch in his stomach pouch.

Then she promptly walked out of the console room before the Doctor could ask if she wanted any.

 

**2.**

Trail mix this time.

Okay.

“It’s nutritious,” the Doctor explained.

“He doesn’t have healthy eating habits,” Nardole elaborated. “I’m trying to teach him healthy eating habits.”

“How do you keep the M&Ms from melting?” Bill asked, tentatively reaching her hand into the Doctor’s stomach pocket and shoveling a handful of trail mix into her mouth. She didn’t know what she’d expected it to feel like, reaching into her best friend’s stomach pouch. Maybe warm. Fleshy. Instead, it felt like reaching into a Ziploc bag. That was unsettling in a wholly unexpected way.

“Naturally lower body temperature,” the Doctor said.

“Oh,” Bill said.

Still, she found herself dipping into his stomach pouch again.

 

**3.**

“I’m hungry,” Bill said.

“Yes, well, we’re presently trapped in a labyrinth by an evil dictator. In my experience, that works up a bit of an apetite.”

“Does this happen to you often?” Bill started. She then abruptly realized she didn’t care. “Still hungry.”

“And what do you want me to do about it?” the Doctor grouched. He was being cross. He had his cross eyebrows on.

“What’ve you got in your pouch?”

“I’m saving that!” the Doctor protested.

“Sharing is caring. Nardole would share.”

The Doctor glared at Bill for a bit, then shrugged his jacket off, beginning to pull his hoodie over his head. “Alright. It’s egg rolls.”

 

**4.**

One day, Bill was strolling the halls of the TARDIS, playing a game she liked to call “What room is this?” Simple game really. She’d stroll the halls, find a door, open the door, and figure out what the hell the room was.

The TARDIS was large and strange and surprising. An aviary. At least 7 libraries. A drawing room. What looked like a medieval torture dungeon, which, wait, what?

And then, she opened the next door, and there it was.

The room was a giant pillow fort. And inside, Nardole was spooning the Doctor who was twitching in his sleep like a dog. Periodically, Nardole would reach into the Doctor’s pouch, pull out a biscuit, and munch on it.

Bill closed the door and walked out of the room.

What two consenting adult aliens did in their own time was none of her business.

Especially when she wasn’t 100% sure exactly what the fuck they _were_ doing.

 

**5.**

It could also be used for storage.

Bill was underwhelmed when all she found was a coin collection that one time.

 

**And 1.**

“I’m impressed,” Nardole said as Bill shoved another chopstick full of fried rice into her mouth.

She was half-leaned over the Doctor in a strange parody of a sex act, but the mood was completely devoid of any sense of the sexual. Just a bunch of pals eating Chinese takeaway after a near-death adventure. One of whom showing off how she was entirely capable of not only eating with chopsticks, but eating with chopsticks out of her buddy’s marsupial pouch.

“Hey, can I get more of the Kung Pao Chicken?” Bill asked.

The Doctor scrunched up his face a bit, tightened some muscle Bill didn’t want to think about, and the next time she dipped her chopsticks in, she came up with a piece of chicken.

“Nice,” Bill said.

Nardole stuck a fork in the Doctor. The Doctor never bothered with anything but his fingers (which, fair. It was his pouch). And the trio continued eating companionably.


End file.
